The Death of Self-Respect
When I first started to date my mother gave me some tips (really threats, but tips is more P.C.), about how to conduct myself. She gave me money so that I could always get home on my own if necessary and pay for my own meal or movie. She told me not to accept gifts from men all willy nilly. Nothing is free. She would not permit me to call boys on the phone, they had to call me. “Chasing” men was strictly prohibited. Most of this stuff sounded completely insane to me. Not any more.
As I watch a culture of women “chase” men, I want to put them alone in a room with my mother so she can talk some sense into them. I’m tired of seeing strong, educated, intelligent women throw themselves at anyone with an XY chromosome complement. I do not want to continue to witness the complete loss of standards as women shack up with men indefinitely as they test out the product and try to decide if they’re in love enough to “put a ring on it” as Beyonce‘ says. (although the Chipettes do it better in my opinion, but I digress)
Will this epidemic ever be remedied? Why are women settling for men just because they have the sperm necessary to shut up the biological clock? Why are women taking international trips with perfect strangers just because he’s paying? Why are women content to share a married man with his wife just to avoid a few lonely nights? When did we forget to value ourselves? When and why did this shift take place? How can these fault lines be eradicated before generations of brilliant, beautiful women are swept away in their wake? This breaks my heart.
I don’t want to answer these questions yet. Partially because I don’t have many answers. Mostly because I really want to hear from all of you. Please leave comments. Tell your mamas to leave comments. Send your crazy friends over, and tell them to comment. I know each of you knows someone that you’ve secretly dreamt of smacking because they fit into one of the aforementioned categories. Here’s your chance to vent. I’m waiting…
2 Comments
jenimama1
Love your mom's advice. I will pass it on to my own daughter when she's old enough.
Discussion at work today was women who are serial marriers. One woman who married 3 times! And there was nothing wrong with any of the guys. Come on! Quit taking and ruining all the good single guys, save some for the rest of us! I get seriously offended by people who are quick to marry and say vows that mean nothing to them.
karen
Titus 2:3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
I think we forget that. All those why questions can be answered by saying that our priorities are all out of whack. How I wish someone would have told me the things your mother told you (even if it wasn't PC). I didn't exactly throw myself at men, but I did go through a phase where it didn't matter how they treated me, I was just content to be with someone.
What would it look like, if every woman who has lived any amount of life, began to mentor a younger woman (and I'm not just talking about physical age), and taught them what it means to be a woman – not by the world's standard, but by God's standards.
Posts like this are the reason I love ya!